I’ve been a fan of yours since 1984, when I first saw your wonderful film debut in Another Country. At the time, I was a young gay man and had recently come out to my parents. I was attempting to find identifiable versions of myself in the larger LGBT world and was using cinema, literature, and the arts as a starting place. You, as your character was depicted in that film, represented an ideal gay man to me, which I had yet to see, in either real life or reel life. Your character was everything I aspired to be. You were smart, droll, handsome, and seemingly secure with your sexuality. (Plus you got to snog the ever-adorable Cary Elwes, which scored points in my book.) Call it youthful naiveté, but at that time I assumed that you yourself were much the same as your character, given you continued to live your life off-screen as an out gay man.
But being out doesn’t necessarily mean one is secure, does it, Rupert? Being out doesn’t necessarily mean that a person feels whole and worthy. As you and I both know, being out isn’t the same thing as being enlightened.
Your recent quote on gay parenting was a rude awakening for me, making me realize that, all this time, I’d given you far more credit than warranted. While you may have played the gay father to Madonna’s child in The Next Best Thing (likely leading to endless sessions on the couch with your therapist), does that mean you’re qualified to speak out about LGBT parenting, or any kind of parenting? Not really, but here I sit, staring at your quote in the Sunday Times, where you say, “I can’t think of anything worse than being brought up by two gay dads.” Given the lives we’ve both led, I can’t help but think, “Really, Rupert? WTF?”
In all of the world’s endless possibilities, Rupert, you can’t imagine anything worse than a child being raised by gay men?
How about a child being born to a father who is in jail for attempted murder? Whose mother sees fit to pierce the ears of her then 6-month-old son, but cannot find the time to fix his club feet? Who later takes this same son to a crack house, which is then raided by police, leading to a year and a half of foster care? (more…)