Posts tagged “foster care

Fun to See Our Family on The Huffington Post!

Christmas 2011After being interviewed by Corinne Lightweaver of RaiseAChild.US for this The Huffington Post article, I flashed back to when I first met our youngest, Marcus, in his foster home. When my social worker and I walked up to the door, Marcus–without knowing me or why I was there–ran up and gave me a hug. I took that as a sign… (I ignored “the sign” of my next visit, when I took him to a park and he cried for two hours uncontrollably.)

There was also another child there at the foster home, Christian, who was about 11. He was a beautiful kid, loved basketball, and he asked if I was there to adopt Marcus. I told him that I might be, and it was clear to me that as happy as he was that Marcus might be adopted, he knew the chances for himself were slim. I walked away from that home happy that I’d just met the newest member of our family, but also sad that I couldn’t manage to take Christian as well…

Did you know that the number of LGBT people willing to fost-adopt children FAR OUTWEIGHS the number of kids in foster care??? Simply by making adoption by LGBT people across the U.S. legal, we could provide houses for all the kids in foster care. Astounding, and sad–for all the “Christians” in the world–that we can’t do just that.

Thanks to Corinne Lightweaver and Raise A Child, USA, for the chance to chat! Read the interview here!


Gratitude–and Giveaways!

First, a sincere “thank you” to all who have helped spread my open letter to Rick Santorum far and wide. It is truly amazing how something written as a late night rant, fueled by both anger and chardonnay, can somehow find its way to the Huffington Post — and beyond! I appreciate the countless notes and comments of support.

The fact is, I love being a dad. While parenting isn’t for everyone, for those for whom it is, it can be the best reward life offers. I am eternally grateful to all who have helped get my message out there–that every kid deserves a home, food, and love.  Where it comes from isn’t as important as that it comes at all…

Secondly, this week, several sites are offering Giveaways of my novel, Songs for the New Depression, which–I’m happy to announce–has been shortlisted for the 2011 Indie Lit Awards.  All of these are great sites, worth checking out, and I hope you’ll enter the contests!

  • Ending Wednesday: The Bilerico Project, a fantastic LGBT news/advocacy website, has three paperback copies–and not many entries yet, so that may be a good bet!
  • Ending Thursday: Deep Dish, a fun gay culture site, has two paperbacks up for grabs.
  • Ending Sunday: Goodreads, a great site for all things bookish, is offering an autographed paperback.
  • Ending Wednesday January 18: Bookish Ardour, a book blog focusing on LGBT, speculative fiction, classics, and more, is offering 3 e-books!

If you haven’t yet, please consider sharing my letter to Rick Santorum with your friends and family. I firmly believe that, together, we can create real change in the world, and make this a place where all are treasured.


An Open Letter to Rick Santorum

Dear Mr. Santorum,

You were recently quoted as saying that a jailed parent would be better for a child than being raised by a same-sex couple.  You noted that, if a same-sex couple were to raise a child, they would be “robbing children of something they need, they deserve, they have a right to.”  You continued, asserting that “You may rationalize that that isn’t true, but in your own life and in your own heart, you know it’s true.”

Mr. Santorum, the only reason my partner Russ and I even have one of our children is because that boy’s birth parents thought it appropriate, when he was a mere six months old, to take him to a crack house, which was then raided by police.  He was promptly placed into foster care, and numerous attempts were made to reunite him with his birth parents.  However, as one was incarcerated due to attempted murder and the other would not submit to drug testing, that was difficult to achieve.  In fact, when they placed this boy into his birth mother’s arms, he would burst into tears.  Further, prior to his crack house adventure, his birth mother found time to pierce both his ears, but could not see fit to give him adequate nutritional care, nor to fix his club feet.

Our other child, in case you are wondering, had a much easier start in life.  His birth mother recognized, while still pregnant, that her situation was not the optimum one in which to raise a child, and reached out to us, two white gay men, to whom she entrusted her African American baby.  My bond with her was so strong that she allowed me to be in the delivery room when my son was born, and I am forever grateful for the gift she gave us.

Apparently, though, you feel that you know better, and that her long-considered, heartbreaking choice was not the best option.  Would you have preferred that she have  instead struggled to raise her son anyway, when she fully realized she was ill-equipped to do so?  Would you also have preferred that my other son have remained with his birth parents, given their ongoing issues with the law, drug use, and poor parenting decisions? (more…)