Posts tagged “dad

Sh*t My Kids Say

For any parent, having a sense of humor is helpful in making it through a day with sanity intact. For my partner Russ and I, given our challenges as gay parents, it is absolutely essential. Luckily, our boys Mason (11) and Marcus (9) say so much funny stuff that it is usually easy to find laughter in our everyday life. Here are just a few exchanges from the past year, pulled from my facebook updates:

Marcus (singing): “I hate you, you hate me, let’s get together and kill Barney…”
Me: “What did Barney ever do to you?”
Marcus: “He stabs people. He’s friends with Chucky.”
Me: “What?!?”
Marcus: “It’s true. I heard it on the news.”

Marcus: “If you have a wife, you mostly have to listen to her. Girls are bossy, right?”

Me (in Cockney accent): “It’s time to get ye to school, Harry Potter!”
Marcus: “Dad, he doesn’t speak French…”

Me, scoffing , to our 11-year-old: “Mason, you don’t want to be popular…”
Mason: “Yes, I do. I’m on that trajectory.”

Marcus, to me: “Babies are cryin’–Get a move on, Mama!”

Russ, as Marcus yawns: “You look sleepy.”
Marcus: “No, I just need oxygen.”

Marcus, to me: “You can’t get it, cuz you’re old.”

While at Subway Sandwiches…
Me: “Marcus, don’t play with your privates.”
Marcus: “But they’re jiggily!” (more…)